Damn, this is the most liberating thing I've read in a long time. Huge thanks for reframing fear -- and I don't want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane EVER, either!
I tried a high ropes course for a friend’s hen party ten years ago. At that point I realised that I am a railway engineer and most of my fears in that context are entirely reasonable and can be useful if not permitted to be paralysing. That feels very different to the other kinds of fear about whether I am good/healthy/beautiful enough.
I am scared of heights, being hit by a train or electrocuted by high voltage electricity. My working life includes hazard identification and design review meetings which are fundamentally a structured process to explore all the ways this could go wrong.
But this is all to a purpose: we turn our fears into guard rails, processes, ways to protect people. Because the safest place for ships is in the harbour but that’s not what ships are for. Or as we often say to each other: “we’re in the business of running trains” (and we also recognise that since the railway is 25 times safer than road transport, it is often better to run a train slowly through a bad patch than force people onto the roads instead).
One of favorite TV shows is WHY PLANES CRASH even though I am afraid of flying! I want to hear how the inspectors and engineers figure out what happened and how to prevent it. It's one of the ways I conquer my fear lest I be stuck on the ground, going nowhere. What I am working to overcome is fear of judgement--letting go of the shame women are sold for not being <fill in the blank> enough. ☘️❤️
Yes - that’s exactly where I’m at too! Fear of judgment has been unwelcome and unnecessary in my life for years - whereas fears of more concrete risks like heights tend to result in effective mitigations (with risk elimination at the top of the hierarchy!)
Thanks Jan! Your comment makes my heart leap (but not out of an airplane). It was liberating for me too. I get to choose what I want to do -- fear can mind her own business.
Catherine, this was so great and perfectly timed, for me. I have been really grappling with this idea of a "big life" and what it means to me. What do i really want? I gasped out loud when you wrote: the opposite of fear is contentment. Contentment is the word I had in my mind this morning! I was just thinking that contentment is also not having to prove yourself anymore, to anyone. THAT'S a life I want!
Wow! I love this, and I see a common theme in the comments about "proving" ourselves to others. When and how did that become such a driver for us? Blrghhh. Time to let that go, kick back, and live the lives we want.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Sounds like we're on the same page!
definitely :)
Irritating, isn't it!?
Fear sells! Damn straight!
Damn, this is the most liberating thing I've read in a long time. Huge thanks for reframing fear -- and I don't want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane EVER, either!
I tried a high ropes course for a friend’s hen party ten years ago. At that point I realised that I am a railway engineer and most of my fears in that context are entirely reasonable and can be useful if not permitted to be paralysing. That feels very different to the other kinds of fear about whether I am good/healthy/beautiful enough.
I am scared of heights, being hit by a train or electrocuted by high voltage electricity. My working life includes hazard identification and design review meetings which are fundamentally a structured process to explore all the ways this could go wrong.
But this is all to a purpose: we turn our fears into guard rails, processes, ways to protect people. Because the safest place for ships is in the harbour but that’s not what ships are for. Or as we often say to each other: “we’re in the business of running trains” (and we also recognise that since the railway is 25 times safer than road transport, it is often better to run a train slowly through a bad patch than force people onto the roads instead).
One of favorite TV shows is WHY PLANES CRASH even though I am afraid of flying! I want to hear how the inspectors and engineers figure out what happened and how to prevent it. It's one of the ways I conquer my fear lest I be stuck on the ground, going nowhere. What I am working to overcome is fear of judgement--letting go of the shame women are sold for not being <fill in the blank> enough. ☘️❤️
Yes - that’s exactly where I’m at too! Fear of judgment has been unwelcome and unnecessary in my life for years - whereas fears of more concrete risks like heights tend to result in effective mitigations (with risk elimination at the top of the hierarchy!)
Thanks Jan! Your comment makes my heart leap (but not out of an airplane). It was liberating for me too. I get to choose what I want to do -- fear can mind her own business.
Catherine, this was so great and perfectly timed, for me. I have been really grappling with this idea of a "big life" and what it means to me. What do i really want? I gasped out loud when you wrote: the opposite of fear is contentment. Contentment is the word I had in my mind this morning! I was just thinking that contentment is also not having to prove yourself anymore, to anyone. THAT'S a life I want!
Wow! I love this, and I see a common theme in the comments about "proving" ourselves to others. When and how did that become such a driver for us? Blrghhh. Time to let that go, kick back, and live the lives we want.
You hit the nail on the head, so much more I could have done with my life if I hadn't let fear set in.
I remember all of the brave things you did!
Powerful writing and thought-provoking stuff here! Love this post.
Thanks Judy! ♥️
If the opposite of fear is contentment, I hope never to be 100% fearless. 😘
Gosh I all kinds of love this post. Fearless-ish. Hah! Thank you!