Beautiful post. One of the things I struggle with is the tension between standing up to oppressive (and disingenuous) messages from society that push women into spending so much time, money, and energy on appearance while recognizing that those same women have autonomy and agency to do as they wish, and are subject to the same pressures (if not more, depending on the woman and her circumstances) that I am. But also by thinking about these things, I'm still thinking about beauty and appearance, and how women navigate the world. And none of this is stuff that the men in my life give a first, second, third, or fourth thought to. It's exhausting.
Yes to all of this. You said exactly what I have been thinking for a long time, and I had the same reaction to Jamie Lee Curtis's remarks. Her commentary was well-meaning, I am sure, but also came off as condescending. Courageous? For looking like herself? But then again, she IS courageous because the expectation is that she will maintain the same looks she had when she was younger. The expectation is that WE will not succumb to aging. It is a love-hate mix of emotions for sure.
How delightful to find my writing quoted in your piece (which is so clever I was already reading passages from it aloud to my husband)! I had some of the same thoughts in response to Jamie Lee Curtis's remarks about Pam Anderson's naked but well-tended face. And Curtis is definitely one of my heroes. Sigh. As for your next trip to the aesthetician, I say if it feels good, do it. But, y'know, for yourself.
I’ve never been much of a make up wearer, because I have really fair skin and not a lot of patience. I do wear sunscreen, lipstick, and mascara (because otherwise my eyes look like pinholes). Last year I started treating myself to a manicure every six weeks or so because it keeps me from biting my nails. I run our county recycling depot and spend most of my days wearing the same clothes I wore in high school: sweatshirts, jeans, and sneakers. I have decided that the best approach to beauty is eating a clean diet, getting enough sleep, and letting my life’s purpose light me up from the inside. I did tell my husband the other day, “This is as good as it’s gonna get, honey,” and we both burst out laughing.☺️
I found you from Stacking recommendations sent weekly. The headline drew me in, but the subject held my interest. I'm reading all kinds of articles lately on anti-aging, what we go through as women, who chooses to go natural in public, and how wonderful they are for being brave. Wonderful for them. Not me. I shared much of what you did through the years, and I was in an industry that judged, criticized, and determined how and what makeup we wore, hair style, color, and nails, length and polish. Staying on top of my game was ingrained for years in order to keep working in my industry. I started going to a dermatologist who specialized in skincare around 30. I don't do as much as I did in the past (I'm 65). But I'm still going to color my hair, wear light makeup, and visit the esthetician when feeling I'm getting to a point where I must avoid the mirror because I don't like my reflection. I view this like taking vitamins and supplements while aging... Sometime we need a little assistance as things go south, and I'm all for softening the harshness of aging. Great read.
Glad I found you via the headline workshop! This is a wonderful post. It’s rejuvenation every time I hear this proclaimed loudly--that women getting “older” are in their prime! The “beauty duty” is all exhausted. And I love the nuanced, yes/and take. JLC is awesome. And there is room for elevating the convo. May we all move toward our purpose shining from within and the ability to celebrate others in a yes/and spirit. Thanks for this piece!
I really appreciated reading this. I've seen that Jamie Lee thing going around lately and it's just weird to me. Celebrities and superficiality are weird to me lol.
I'm on the brink of 51 and honestly can't be bothered with makeup 90% of the time. But I admit, I do buy serums and special moisturizer. I guess I've bought into the hype!
Beautiful post. One of the things I struggle with is the tension between standing up to oppressive (and disingenuous) messages from society that push women into spending so much time, money, and energy on appearance while recognizing that those same women have autonomy and agency to do as they wish, and are subject to the same pressures (if not more, depending on the woman and her circumstances) that I am. But also by thinking about these things, I'm still thinking about beauty and appearance, and how women navigate the world. And none of this is stuff that the men in my life give a first, second, third, or fourth thought to. It's exhausting.
Yes to all of this. You said exactly what I have been thinking for a long time, and I had the same reaction to Jamie Lee Curtis's remarks. Her commentary was well-meaning, I am sure, but also came off as condescending. Courageous? For looking like herself? But then again, she IS courageous because the expectation is that she will maintain the same looks she had when she was younger. The expectation is that WE will not succumb to aging. It is a love-hate mix of emotions for sure.
How delightful to find my writing quoted in your piece (which is so clever I was already reading passages from it aloud to my husband)! I had some of the same thoughts in response to Jamie Lee Curtis's remarks about Pam Anderson's naked but well-tended face. And Curtis is definitely one of my heroes. Sigh. As for your next trip to the aesthetician, I say if it feels good, do it. But, y'know, for yourself.
I’ve never been much of a make up wearer, because I have really fair skin and not a lot of patience. I do wear sunscreen, lipstick, and mascara (because otherwise my eyes look like pinholes). Last year I started treating myself to a manicure every six weeks or so because it keeps me from biting my nails. I run our county recycling depot and spend most of my days wearing the same clothes I wore in high school: sweatshirts, jeans, and sneakers. I have decided that the best approach to beauty is eating a clean diet, getting enough sleep, and letting my life’s purpose light me up from the inside. I did tell my husband the other day, “This is as good as it’s gonna get, honey,” and we both burst out laughing.☺️
I found you from Stacking recommendations sent weekly. The headline drew me in, but the subject held my interest. I'm reading all kinds of articles lately on anti-aging, what we go through as women, who chooses to go natural in public, and how wonderful they are for being brave. Wonderful for them. Not me. I shared much of what you did through the years, and I was in an industry that judged, criticized, and determined how and what makeup we wore, hair style, color, and nails, length and polish. Staying on top of my game was ingrained for years in order to keep working in my industry. I started going to a dermatologist who specialized in skincare around 30. I don't do as much as I did in the past (I'm 65). But I'm still going to color my hair, wear light makeup, and visit the esthetician when feeling I'm getting to a point where I must avoid the mirror because I don't like my reflection. I view this like taking vitamins and supplements while aging... Sometime we need a little assistance as things go south, and I'm all for softening the harshness of aging. Great read.
you're providing a great wealth of compassion and moreover self-compassion! Thank you!
Glad I found you via the headline workshop! This is a wonderful post. It’s rejuvenation every time I hear this proclaimed loudly--that women getting “older” are in their prime! The “beauty duty” is all exhausted. And I love the nuanced, yes/and take. JLC is awesome. And there is room for elevating the convo. May we all move toward our purpose shining from within and the ability to celebrate others in a yes/and spirit. Thanks for this piece!
I really appreciated reading this. I've seen that Jamie Lee thing going around lately and it's just weird to me. Celebrities and superficiality are weird to me lol.
I'm on the brink of 51 and honestly can't be bothered with makeup 90% of the time. But I admit, I do buy serums and special moisturizer. I guess I've bought into the hype!