Are you there, God? Margaret's in Menopause

A midlife re-imagining of a classic.

Are You There, God? It’s Me Margaret, the movie, opens Friday night. I honestly can’t remember if I read Judy Blume’s iconic book (on which the film is based) as a pre-teen, but I do vividly remember Junior High gym class as the setting for period talk and performing the “we must, we must, we must develop our bust” work-out with my friends during recess.

I rediscovered Blume through my writing friends and read (or re-read?) the book this winter. I didn’t feel the nostalgia I had anticipated. Maybe because my childhood experience and Margaret’s were as different as the places where we grew up, suburban New Jersey and rural Maine.

Or maybe, at this time in my life, I’m longing for an adult version of Blume’s particular kind of empathy.

Blume’s books are so enduring because of the connection she forged between her characters and readers. Young people experiencing the myriad traumas of growing up feel seen and understood through stories like Margaret’s.

We can’t know how Margaret navigates high school, college, marriage, children, and career—or whether she makes any of those traditional choices. Blume has made it clear there won’t be a sequel, saying in a recent interview, “[T]here are women who grew up with my books who want me to age Margaret. They ask for Margaret in Menopause. I hate to disappoint them, but Margaret is always going to be 12.”

But what if she had grown up? In the way Blume helped adolescent girls feel more “normal,” might Blume have destigmatized the myriad ways women feel shame—about our bodies, opinions, desires, and ambition—as we age?

Imagine it with me.

Margaret went to college and spent a few years in New York City but moved back to the suburbs when she married Moose, her childhood crush.

Are you there, God? It’s Me, Margaret.

I never expected to end up in New Jersey again, but I’m in love and want to be where Moose is. I know we can build a happy life here. I hope you can see that I’m doing all the right things.

When Moose’s landscaping business failed during a great recession, Margaret found daycare for their two children and went to work as an administrative assistant. She cooked dinner every night and checked on her aging parents twice a week. She asked Moose to look at the color-coded calendar she’d made for the kid’s after-school activities.  

Are you there, God?

I’m really tired. It would be nice if Moose could shuttle the kids to sports, band practice, and play dates now and then. Do you think you could put in a word for me, God?

On Saturday mornings, Margaret went to Jazzercise class and, when she had time, worked out at home to Jane Fonda videos. “Feel the burn” replaced “we must develop our bust” in her group of friends, though Margaret still wore a lightly padded under-wire bra, especially since breastfeeding her two children.

Laura Danker, the girl who developed early in sixth grade, had a double mastectomy. Gretchen, who now goes by Gretz, wore tight sports bras to flatten their chest, and Nancy recently had her DD implants removed—“a bad choice in my twenties,” she called them.

Breasts don’t have the appeal they once did, God.

Margaret thought about how different get-togethers with friends had become since their sixth-grade secret club, “The Pre-Teen Sensations.” When they were in their 40s, after a few bottles of Chardonnay, they’d renamed it “The Peri-Menopausal Disappointments.”

By the time Moose left Margaret, running off with his physical therapist to start a “.com” company, she’d earned a promotion to management. She still prayed almost every night.

Are you there, God? It’s Me, Margaret.

I feel like I’m letting everyone down—most especially myself. I don’t spend enough time with my parents or my kids. The work keeps piling up. I can’t sleep, and I think I might be drinking too much. I read this quote today, God. It said, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” But what if I don’t know what I might have been, God?”

Margaret and her friends met once a month for brunch. They drank “rose all day” and talked about their kids, partners, and jobs. They did their Kegels, swapped lube recommendations, and shared names of knowledgeable doctors willing to discuss options to relieve their menopausal symptoms.

When she turned 55, Margaret started Hormone Replacement Theory and stopped talking to God as much. When she decided to quit her job, she had one more thing she wanted to say to him (or her – Margaret wasn’t sure).

Are you there, God? It’s Me, Margaret.

Maybe I “might have been” CEO or something, but whatever I am truly meant to become, I know I won’t find what I’m looking for in the office. Happiness doesn’t magically happen because you have perky boobs, a flat stomach, and no grey hair. You have to look for it. Do the work.

I have passion and experience now, God. And I will find whatever it is I am meant to be.

And with that, Margaret thrust her arms wide to the sky and began to chant.

It’s time. It’s time. I’m finally in my prime!

Prompts to reinspire your next chapter

Drop a few lines of writing in the comments, and I’ll share mine too. There is only one rule. Be kind to yourself as you write and to others as they trust us with their words.

• Reflection: Think of your favorite character in a book or film. List five qualities about them that you admire.

• Inspiration: Imagine yourself in the future (5, 10, 20 years from now). Write about your life, incorporating the five qualities you listed above.

Last to Know Links

Judy Blume’s books, like Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret, Forever, Blubber, and Beanie, are consistently among the most banned books, according to the American Library Association—because their themes include menstruation, sexuality, and masturbation. Judy Blume receives thousands and thousands of letters from pre-teens thanking her for helping them understand their bodies, making them feel seen, and less alone.

Book banning attempts (many successful) reached record levels in 2022 and more are in the works. Here are resources to protect the freedom to read.

https://pen.org/issue/free-the-books/

https://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/bannedbooksweek/ideasandresources/activity

https://uniteagainstbookbans.org/

https://authorsguild.org/resource/stop-book-bans-toolkit/

FREE THE BOOKS!

Work hard. Be Brave. Believe.