Refactor: I asked ChatGPT about midlife, menopause, and reinvention

Based on the chatbot's responses, I think the rebranding of middle-aged women is working! ***also a tiny snippet from my memoir in progress***

I confess. I got a late start on this post, so I thought maybe I could cheat the system and lean on AI (artificial intelligence). ChatGPT is a new platform that gives answers to your questions in a conversational style—like Siri with an MFA (not really, but close enough for this post.)

Schoolkids use the chatbot to write essays, and businesses can use it to write marketing copy. It’s the first real competitor to Google and either the death of language or the start of something incredible. I’m not taking sides, but I was curious (and behind schedule), so I logged on and started asking questions.

I was encouraged by its uplifting tone when it came to women in midlife, menopause, and the challenges and opportunities of reinvention. ChatGPT isn’t thought leadership, to be sure—AI is gathering and repackaging its responses from a massive amount of well-established ideas—but I think it gives us a sense of the zeitgeist.

Here are excerpts from our interview (answers are real ChatGPT responses, edited only for length):

Hi ChatG! I write about reinvention and finding inspiration in midlife. Can we start with a few definitions? Describe a midlife woman.

A midlife woman typically refers to a female who is between the ages of 40 to 65 and is in the middle stage of her life. This period can be marked by various physical, emotional, and psychological changes, including hormonal shifts, increased stress levels, and reflection on life goals and accomplishments. Midlife women may also experience changes in their relationships, career, and personal identity as they navigate this stage of life.

Hmm. Lots of hedging there, and I appreciate that. Everyone’s experience is different. Midlife does seem to be a popular time for reinventing oneself. Any thoughts on that?

A midlife reinvention is a process of transformation and personal growth that often occurs in a person's 40s or 50s, when they reassess their life and career goals and make significant changes…. [It’s] a way for individuals to break away from old patterns and routines and create a life that is more authentic and meaningful.… The process of midlife reinvention can be challenging, but many people find that it leads to a greater sense of purpose, happiness, and overall well-being.

That’s pretty good, Chat. But can you turn that into a haiku?

In midlife’s shifting
New paths appear, old ones fade
Reinvention blooms

Dang. Okay, let’s get into it. For many women, midlife coincides with menopause. In my experiences, the physical changes were a catalyst, sparking that search for the more authentic and meaningful life you mentioned. What do you think?

Menopause is a natural biological process that marks the end of a woman's reproductive years.… Hormonal therapy and lifestyle changes can help manage some of the symptoms of menopause, and many women find that they are able to adjust to this new stage of life with time. While menopause can be a challenging time, it is also an opportunity for women to reflect on their lives and pursue new goals and interests.

SO glad you mentioned hormonal therapy, Chat! There’s an incredible piece in The New York Times about the lack of information and misinformation women receive about menopause that truly creates unnecessary suffering. And you know, when women are held back, for whatever reason, the whole world is missing out on their potential!

And here, ChatGPT outlined six strategies to unlock the untapped potential of women and girls, including programs to promote gender equality, diversity, and inclusivity, flexible work arrangements, and investments in women’s health and well-being. By addressing these issues, the full potential for women can be unleashed, leading to a more prosperous and vibrant future for all.

ChatGPT, I think you and I will get along just fine. One more question. Can you write my memoir for me?

She was a woman with a mind full of dreams and a heart full of fire. For years, she had worked tirelessly as a corporate executive, climbing the ladder of success with determination and grace. But now, as she approached the peak of her career, she found herself filled with a restlessness she could not ignore. She longed for a change, for something new and different, for a chance to rediscover the joy and excitement she had once known.

Umm. On second thought… I mean, that’s not not it, but…. errr, no, thanks. I was going for something more like this.

Maybe it was when I turned fifty-five that summer. I moved to Vermont and began working from home. While the pace of my job accelerated, I was yielding to midlife brain fog and the tractor-slow tempo of rural life. Things moved slowly and with purpose beyond the wavy glass panes of my office window—my neighbor tended his garden, cows grazed in the meadow—while through the glare of my computer monitor, the speedometer remained pegged in the red zone. I’d been struggling to keep up with the pace, and I’d long lost the competitive drive to keep climbing—to lean in without collapsing. Was it because I was too old to adapt, or had I simply lost interest? Or maybe, I was never meant to be there.

Prompts to reinspire your next chapter

Drop a few lines of writing in the comments, and I’ll share mine too. There is only one rule. Be kind to yourself as you write and to others as they trust us with their words.

The word refactor means to rewrite existing text (or software code) in order to improve its readability or structure without changing the core meaning.

• Reflection: Write a short introduction about yourself in the first person. Begin with “First and foremost, I am…” Set a timer for five minutes and aim for 25-50 words.

• Inspiration: Refactor your introduction using the second person. Begin with “You are ….” Write for another five minutes and consider what a difference one’s point of view can make.

New words

• My latest essay about writing as self-care is out in the February issue of AARP’s The Ethel.

• Curious about the book I’m writing? The working title is Typing Lessons. Read this archived post for more clues.

Last to Know Links

I’m only sharing one link in this post because the information in this article by Susan Dominus is so valuable. If you are in the menopause transition, or will be someday, or know someone who is or will be, I highly encourage you to read this piece.

Here’s an excerpt and a FREE LINK to the full article, “Women Have Been Misled About Menospause.”

About 85 percent of women experience menopausal symptoms. Rebecca Thurston, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh who studies menopause, believes that, in general, menopausal women have been underserved — an oversight that she considers one of the great blind spots of medicine. “It suggests that we have a high cultural tolerance for women’s suffering,” Thurston says. “It’s not regarded as important.”

Even hormone therapy, the single best option that is available to women, has a history that reflects the medical culture’s challenges in keeping up with science; it also represents a lost opportunity to improve women’s lives.

I wish I had known more about the symptoms and the truth about hormone therapy while I was still working…would have saved me a lot of shame and embarrassment (wait for the book!)

Work hard. Be Brave. Believe.