I Meet the Life Wizard

Where planning collides with intuition

Maybe I shouldn’t have hired the first life coach I’d found online. Sub-zero wind chills rattled the single-paned windows while the cherry-red woodstove blazed to deep mahogany. The tea kettle whistled at a volume just below urgent.

“I need you to help me decide what to do, make a plan, and then hold me accountable for getting it done.”

I pulled one arm out of my sweater and paced between the cold and hot spots in the kitchen.

“Hello?” I flipped my phone over to check the signal—four bars. Then I heard the exasperated sigh that would become familiar.

 “Yeeeaaahhhh. We’re not going to do that,” Diane, from Life Wizard Coaching, said.

I leaned against the kitchen’s cool soapstone counter. Rangeley, our new Lab puppy, tip-tapped across the room, jamming his nose in the cracks between the wide-planked floors and rooting for treasure like a truffle hog. I pushed him away with my bare foot.

“I’ve got twelve months to come up with a new LinkedIn profile,” I said, yanking my sweater and throwing the twisted knit at a chair. “I cannot list my profession as consultant or self-employed. I mean, that screams UN-employed, don’t you think?”

I thought of co-workers and friends. They’d assume I’d been redeployed—that’s corporate jargon for laid-off, shit-canned, having no further value.

“You could have called any number of consultants to help write a new LinkedIn bio,” Diane interrupted, ‘but I don’t think that’s your issue. What brought you to me?”

It was her third attempt at the same line of questioning. What did I want? Why now?

I could have said I was having a midlife crisis. I should have explained that I was burned out. It would have been reasonable to blame peri-menopause for the overwhelming urge to break free from business and burn down the patriarchy! But those weren’t the reasons.

And, as for what I wanted? That’s why I called a life wizard.

“Maybe nonprofit or writing,” I said, thinking aloud about how to describe my future self on a LinkedIn profile.

Diane once again paused for effect, then she said this:

“How can you be confident writing your story when you don’t know what it is?”  

I reached for my sweater as a chill rippled around the base of my skull.

Rangeley stretched in front of the fire with a groan, and each hair on my neck briefly stood on end like they were doing the wave.

Think of the last time you turned to someone or something for help—a life coach, partner, friend, God, Gaia, or Magic 8-Ball. Immerse yourself in the moment, hold the person or object in your mind, and hear them ask:

What brought you to me?

Take a deep breath. Now, write.

Catherine